Finding Joy in Self-Acceptance

Renee Barry is a funny lady from Lafayette, Louisiana. This southern belle has spent the last 7 years perfecting her craft through acting, improv, and sketch writing at two of Chicago’s iconic comedy theatres: The Second City and The iO Theatre. On nights and weekends, you can find Renee in the theatre performing in her latest show with her equally impressive ensemble members. If Renee is not performing, she’s most likely held up in her apartment writing and creating funny bits that will be turned into the next showstopper or a video series that will always leave you wanting more. Here, we discuss her perspective on the power of perseverance, resilience and the joy in accepting yourself.

Where does your passion for comedy come from?

I feel like I grew up in a funny family. We all, my parents included, loved Monty Python. We also watched a lot of comedy growing up. I was always surrounded by witty people. I grew up watching Saturday Night Live, and Whose Line Is It Anyway all the time.

It took me a while to figure out that comedy is something that you can study and do professionally. I always thought comedians were naturally funny and didn’t have to train. I thought it was more about luck. I didn’t realize comedy is a skill that can be learned, practiced and honed.  I remember looking up my favorite comedians to see where they went to college and what they studied. I learned Amy Poehler and Tiny Fey trained in Chicago at The Second City and iO. I thought, well, that’s where I need to go if I want to try and do this comedy thing. So, after college, I moved to Chicago to give it a shot.

Did you live anywhere other than Louisiana and Chicago?

Yes, I lived in Austin for 3 months for an internship. That experience was my first time living outside of Lafayette. I felt scared and sheltered. I didn’t venture out too much and unfortunately didn’t really give myself the opportunity to truly see the city, meet people and experience what it had to offer. I felt like I wasted the whole summer by staying inside and being scared to go out and socialize with people.  I returned home feeling defeated and ended up getting a job in a restaurant.

So, my family was very surprised that I was interested in moving to Chicago after my Austin experience. I knew I wanted to do something different to make them proud. I started sending out resumes to every news agency since I had a degree in journalism. I thought it would be much easier if I could get a job first, then move. I’d for sure be able to survive that way. However, that didn’t happen. I never heard back from my applications.  

By chance one of my dad’s colleague’s daughters was subleasing her place in Chicago so my parents encouraged me to give it a try. They thought if it didn’t work out, I’d be back in 3 months. And, to all our surprise, that’s not what happened. Fast forward 7 years later, I am still living in the city. Yet, in hindsight, moving to Chicago was one of the hardest decisions I’ve made in my life and I don’t think I fully grasped at the time what I was doing. I moved here without having a job and without knowing anyone.  However, I knew I had my family’s support and that gave me a lot of comfort.

How was your start as an improv student in Chicago?

Once I wrapped my head around the fact that I was in Chicago, I wasn’t going to waste my time as I had done in Austin. I got acquainted with the city, got a restaurant job and started taking classes at The Second City pretty much right away. I started the improv program and dabbled in their writing classes but didn’t take those as seriously. So, I dropped the writing portion at the time to save money. It takes about a year to complete the improv program. Regardless of your experience, everyone starts at the beginning.

When I completed the improv program, I auditioned for The Conservatory Program at The Second City. I did not get in and, even though I was disappointed, I continued with improv. I knew I needed more training, so I started the improv program at The iO Theatre. My goal at the time was to keep developing my improv skills and to get more education behind me before I started doing auditions again. This was super helpful.

From here, I started performing with an indie team called Moon Roof and ended up performing with them for a long time. I was having a lot of fun. Moon Roof was a huge group of people and was something that we started outside of our classes doing ad hoc rehearsals together. The original intention was to get together outside of class and practice. We didn’t originally intend to form a team. Yet, the same consistent people kept showing up, so we decided to form the team and hold each other accountable. It was more of, “Oh, if you’re available every Tuesday night, then you can be available for shows or whatever.” This was great and it went on for 2 years.

Did your indie team in some way give you the confidence to keep going?

In hindsight, yes. I honestly didn’t have a set goal except to have fun and to see how it goes. There were a lot of people and a lot of personalities.  But the great thing was, I felt like our indie team had a ton of support from The Playground Theater and the continued encouragement to perform was priceless. We learned so much from each other in those early days.

Can you elaborate on the importance of creating a community in the improv world?

Being new in Chicago, I quickly realized how important it was to be a part of the community. As an introvert, it’s hard for me to do this sometimes. It’s scary to put yourself out there and get uncomfortable but it made all the difference for me. I am forever grateful to both Kevin Reader and Bryan Duff, the guys who ran the indie showcase at the time. I was so impressed with their high energy and encouragement they gave to all the improv newbies.

They were so welcoming to new teams in the city, and they gave Moon Roof an opportunity. We had the chance to get up on stage before we really had any right to be on any stage. We played and practiced regularly at The Playground Theatre for a long time. I could not have predicted the impact of these relationships and how they would help me grow both personally and professionally.  Later, I had the opportunity to work at Cards Against Humanity and it all started with my community of people and an introduction.

What can you share about your journey from improv student to The Conservatory program at The Second City?

Geez, the first thing that comes to mind is how difficult it was for me. Conservatory auditions are held roughly 2 or 3 times in a year (every 2 – 3 months). However, there is a rule that after 3 unsuccessful auditions you must wait a full year to audition again. Given my multiple attempts, I was forced to take a long break. By this point, I was bitter and had kind of given up. I just thought I don’t know what else I can do to make them like me. I’d also moved on to creative pursuits at other theatres and was content. Once I became eligible to audition again, I had lost interest.

My boyfriend (now fiancé) was in The Conservatory Program in level 2 or 3 at the time, and he would come home every time and talk about how much he loved it and how excited he was to be learning so much. The feedback on his experience is what convinced me to try again. I think it was my fourth or fifth audition when I finally got through. I was elated. After waiting a few years to make it through the audition, it meant a lot to me, and I knew I needed to work my ass off to make it count. I was so driven, and I wanted to take the experience as seriously as I could because I wasn’t going to take it for granted.

How did your experience at The Conservatory change you?

That’s an interesting question. To be honest, what I noticed about myself is that I took my experience more seriously than most maybe too serious in the beginning. I wanted to absorb everything about the experience from bringing in sketches and working on improv, to listening and receiving feedback from the instructors. It was hard for me to find my place against the backdrop of talent, personalities, and egos.

I realized my strengths centered around kindness, being enthusiastic and encouraging of everyone. The success of a show comes from everyone coming together as a whole and you must put egos aside. My goal was always focused on the success of the show. It didn’t matter to me whether my stuff got into the show or not. It had more do with whatever we put into the show, I am going to work hard to make it as good as it can be. For me, it’s less about being seen and more about having a great show. I don’t know if everyone thinks that way, but when I focused less on my personal contribution and more on the team and the show, that’s when I first noticed that was something special I could bring to the table.

What stands out in your mind?

A couple of things. I knew that when I finished the improv program at The iO Theatre I did not want to keep taking classes anymore. In my head, I thought I wasn’t learning much and my focus was on getting to the end. For example, getting on a Harold Team at iO and getting into The Conservatory Program at Second City. My goals were always on what happens at the end. I felt stuck and frustrated. I started questioning myself and my purpose.

Why am I doing this?
What makes me happy?
What makes me angry?
What do I look forward to doing?
What do I want to do?

These feelings were a wakeup call to reassess my creative priorities. At that time, I was performing with Moon Roof. Every time we did a show, I was excited to be there. Yet, I still felt a sense of uneasiness, frustration, even a bit agitated. What I realized is that something changed, and it was me. I was comfortable. I stopped growing. While I had every intention to try new things and explore new avenues, I wasn’t really challenging myself enough to step outside of my comfort zone.

It was clear that I needed to stop relying on the system of going through classes and doing auditions. I needed to break free from the status quo or doing what everyone else was doing so I could be me.  I realized that I could create my own comedy path and that there were other ways to go about getting the things that I wanted while I continued to pursue my goals.

Did you ever feel like giving up, especially after all the audition rejections?

Even though audition rejections are hard to take, they gave me thicker skin. In the beginning, I was paranoid to audition because I’d get caught up in my social anxiety. I even skipped auditions because I would get such bad anxiety. I knew I had to keep pushing past the fear to the point where I allowed myself to try and enjoy the process a little bit. I learned to let go and accept that I cannot please everyone. I started giving myself permission to have fun and not take the process of auditioning too seriously. I recognized that a small window of time doesn’t define me or my ability, and that was a powerful realization.

Despite the rejections, I’ve never had the desire to fully quit improv or comedy. Yet, there was a certain point where I thought, I am done with classes.  I plateaued. I was done learning new things for a little while, and just kind of wanted to pause. I felt down for a while. To pick myself back up, I decided to try different things. I started writing a lot more with my friends and filming fun bits for the web. Yet, this petered out as well.

One of the best things about comedy is that there are no rules and no set path for anyone. Once I gave myself the freedom to break away from the status quo, I learned I could make my own rules.  If something doesn’t work, you table it, try again later or move on to something else. I could probably change paths another eight times and be totally fine and not burn out on it. I don’t know why I’ve never quit. I just have this strong desire to push forward and to keep going because I love it so much.

Do you think comedy has allowed you to be freer with yourself?

Yes, it taught me a lot of social skills. I am shy and wasn’t always super outgoing. Looking people in the eye while they’re talking, truly listening, and having responses were things I learned through improv.  And yeah, I think that I have more confidence now that translates to every other part of my life. My increased confidence makes it easier to meet new people, interact and be present in the moment. I’m not scared of that anymore. Social interactions aren’t as scary as they used to be for me.

How else has your experienced with comedy shaped you?

I guess you could say that I finally decided to accept myself and remove all the external pressure and expectations. I need to be able to like myself before I can expect others to like me. I am also super grateful to my fiancé, Pete. In the beginning, when we were dating, he saw me for me. This gave me so much reassurance and confidence and allowed me to see what I could bring to the table. Even though we have different comedy styles, we work very well together. I feel like we bring out the best in each other.

After celebrating my 30^th birthday this year, one of the main lessons I’ve learned is having the courage to find my own comedy voice. It feels good to say this as that wasn’t the case just three years ago. There is a quote that I love, and it gave me a lot of comfort in the early days and after setbacks:

Comparison is the thief of joy. – Theodore Roosevelt

It took me a while to figure out how to put these wise words into practice and to realize what type of performer I was and wanted to be in the future. I had to grow up a lot.  I needed to focus less on others and more on just doing something for myself. I made the decision to accept myself. This alone changed my perception and has allowed me to accept my own joy but also give joy to others.

For example, I don’t allow comparison of others to steal my joy. I’m at a point now where I can celebrate my peers’ wins and be sincerely happy for them because I know they deserve it. It also helps to realize there’s no set formula for comedy success or auditions. If I don’t get picked it’s not because they do not like me, it’s because I am not what they are looking for at that time. See that personal growth!

What’s next for you?

My goals have shifted since I first arrived in Chicago. When I first moved here, I thought I wanted to write for a TV show or be an actress in LA or aim for Saturday Night Live. Yet, my priorities have changed a bit and it’s been a blessing to have more things going on in my life outside of improv. This has helped me not take everything so seriously. I’m learning to relax more into my comedy voice.

I will continue to audition and want to move forward with my goal of being on The Main Stage or ETC stage at The Second City being a paid performer. I don’t know how long it will take but I feel I am doing exactly what I need to do right now. This might be the first time in my comedy career where I feel confident in my path forward. Regardless of what happens, I have already been surprised countless times on this journey. I am excited to embrace what’s next.

Next year, I am getting married and I am thinking about starting a family. I also know that I want to move back to Louisiana at some point in the future. It may sound silly, but I don’t want to go back feeling like I failed or feeling defeated the way I did in Austin. I want to be able to say that I gave it my best shot. My goal is to feel I’ve accomplished what I came here to accomplish, so I keep going as I redefine my goals and priorities in this crazy undefined space.

In reflecting on your experience, do you have any tips or advice you’d share with other aspiring comedians?

Oh, I have lots. Here are a few I learned along the way.

1. Don’t let fear define your experience.
2. Have fun and enjoy the moment.
3. Try new things.
4. Don’t limit yourself to one path.
5. Look for open doors.
6. Push past your comfort zone.
7. Don’t compare yourself to others.
8. Be kind to yourself.
9. Own your gifts.
10. Make your own comedy rules.

In closing, what are 3 simple joys that are part of your daily routine?

1. Taking my dog, Edie, for a walk every day and seeing her happy. That’s pure joy.

2. Watching one bad TV show every day. The trashier the better, it just helps me.

3. Driving around in my car, listening to the music loudly and singing along… even if I don’t know the words. I love this feeling of freedom.

Chicago locals can catch Renee at…

The iO Theatre on Thursdays at 8:30 pm for the month of November. Her indie team, Regular Girl will be opening for Revolver.

The Second City on Thursdays at 9:00 pm in the show Thank you, Five from January 16 – February 6, 2020, in the Blackout Cabaret.

You can also see her in the Vimeo series Morph Bots.

Follow her on Instagram and Facebook for more funny stuff.

*Photos courtesy of Renee Barry.