Covid and Boundaries

I don’t have a typical schedule. I gave that up when I decided to leave the corporate world, branch out and try new things. I’ve been working from home for the last couple of years. Prior to that, I had a fairly flexible schedule. When Chicago went into full lock down the week of March 16th, I thought my schedule wouldn’t be that affected because I already worked from home. Sure, I’ll miss rotating coffee shops, but it will be OK.

I was wrong. You see, my “office” was my dining room table or a local coffee shop a few times a week. For example, when I couldn’t work at home, I went to a coffee shop; and when I was distracted at the coffee shop I went home. I had created the perfect balance for myself. Until my normal ceased to exist, I realized that I took my flexibility for granted.

The first three weeks of the lock down were spent helping our third grader adjust to her new normal. We dug out an old computer, cleaned it up, covered the “how to” basics, and handed it over to her. Luckily, she was somewhat acquainted with Google Classroom as they started using it together at the beginning of the year for class for projects and some lessons. The transition ended up being bumpier and more overwhelming than I anticipated.

It took four weeks before I felt we finally hit a stride with the new schedule and homeschooling. The school lessons were no longer multiple resources/links being thrown at us by many teachers and administrators through several different channels. They were now centralized on a single web page where our daughter could find all of her resources and monitor her daily progress. We also finally figured out how to turn in all of the work. Yay!

I’m forever grateful to Mrs. Jonas for her patience and willingness to jump right in to the deep end. Everyday she went above and beyond the “normal” call of duty to make sure the whole class was set up for success. Her calm demeanor never wavered even when she may have felt overwhelmed herself. We would never know it. Mrs. Jonas embraced the change and uncertainty with the positive attitude of a champion. While supporting the parents behind the scenes, she also provided a steady presence and a sense of peace that made her students feel safe and secure as they reluctantly accepted their new normal.

While our daughter started to somewhat adjust, I felt like I was floundering. My desk/dining room table was in the hot spot to triage any and all questions just by proximity. I found it impossible to get into the zone. However, I was also happy to be on standby, worried that all this would take an emotional toll on our only child. We were all just trying to stay afloat like everyone else during these crazy times.

In my willingness to make things easier for everyone else, I forgot about myself. It wasn’t until my husband suggested that I create my own corner in our bedroom and that he could bring the extra desk from his office. BINGO! Yes! My own space with a door that I can keep closed. Why on earth had I not thought of this sooner, is beyond me. Anyway, in a blink of an eye, my night table was replaced with an Ikea desk. This was going to solve all of my problems… Until it didn’t.

My little nook created a retreat for me. What I didn’t expect was that it also created a new triage hot spot that now included a comfy bed to sit/lie/lounge on while asking questions or informing me of something new and exciting. I have to admit it was cute in the beginning. However, my patience wavered with each interruption knocking me out of the zone, yet again.

I began to slightly panic with each passing interruption. The cuteness of it started to fade as my frustration grew. It dawned on me that I did not, in fact, have a space issue. I had a boundary issue. I had failed to create new boundaries that work for me, not against me. While communicating my needs to my family, I enlisted my daughter’s help. I’m feeling positive about this next phase.

P.S. As I type this post, I hear little feet circling the creaky hallway. I have 5 minutes left of my 2 hour block of uninterrupted time. I think I’ll lie on my comfy bed and celebrate.

P.S.S. An update: At 12:05 pm the door cautiously opened and the sign changed. Let’s just call this progress.